This month, I’m very much looking forward to conducting a few concerts in Milan along with my wonderful colleagues on the conducting course at Milan’s Bicocca University. Over the course of the last 8 months, I’ve really enjoyed studying the art of conducting in Italy, not only because of the opportunity to conduct some great music, try a new language and meet some new friends, but also because of the learning experience, in particular, learning from mistakes and improving from them.
In all walks of life, mistakes are made, some big, some little. They are all part of the learning process. However, what’s fascinating is how we deal with them and how not being afraid of making mistakes can help us to learn and grow.
From a young age, we are exposed to tests, exams, school reports and peer pressure. In many professions, we are then exposed to more scrutiny, with appraisals, promotion rounds and so on. There is a danger that if we don’t obtain the grades or the recognition that we feel that we deserve or that others expect us to achieve, we consider that to be a failure.
This may have two consequences; we either ‘try harder’ to get a better result next time, or we stop enjoying what we are doing and give up as we can’t see how we can improve and develop any more.
The danger of trying harder is that trying can imply using disproportionate excess effort to the goal that we want to achieve. However, where the goal subsequently seems to be increasingly unachievable, the effort used to continue to try and achieve that goal can cause a lot of stress on our minds and our bodies and we can resort to unhelpful habits. The danger of giving up on something is that we stop doing something that we are actually highly competent at and actually enjoy, just because we feel that we can’t develop any further or get any better.
So how can we avoid trying too hard or giving up in these circumstances?
Well, the good news is that we are all human and we all make mistakes, unless you’re actually a secret robot! So, there is no getting away from the fact that mistakes will happen from time to time, that’s just life and we have to accept that.
However, I think the key to not being phased by making a mistake is to be completely aware of what the mistake was, to understand how it can be avoided next time and putting new and better habits into practice.
Awareness of the mistake is crucial and really requires a mentor, teacher or similar role model to explain the mistake clearly, how it can in practical terms be avoided and very importantly, what new habit needs to be introduced and practiced to help that mistake from occurring in the future. To be told that something is wrong, or that you need to improve without an adequate explanation of all of the steps required to develop does not teach us anything and that’s what differentiates a mediocre teacher/mentor from a great one.
Once we are aware of what new habits need to be developed, they can then be worked on, preferably with experienced guidance to help to develop the better habit. However, if the same mistakes then continue to be made, we may need to look at the mistake again with fresh eyes and ask, did I fully understand the mistake and if so, did I understand how to create a better habit to help avoid that mistake in the future? If the answer to these questions is no, there is a danger that we just plough on with our old habits and continue without focus, which affects our ability to grow and develop in our professional lives. However, if we understand what is required to develop and achieve new goals, we can go about practicing the steps required to do that. In practicing these steps, there is of course a possibility that we will make further mistakes, but by concentrating on learning a new habit or discipline, the focus should be on just that and not trying to avoid old mistakes (which may just cause stress because we focus on not making the mistake instead of developing better habits). By focusing on developing the new habit and not on making the old mistake, this helps us to not be afraid of making mistakes. Just think of learning to ride a bicycle as a child, we weren’t so worried about falling off, we just wanted to learn how to cycle and enjoy that and suddenly, hey presto, you’re cycling without stabilisers!
We all have our own role models who we really, really admire for excelling in their fields, be they sporting, business, artistic or otherwise. However, for them to really excel, they probably made a lot of mistakes along the way. They just didn’t allow those mistakes to get in the way of their progress and development and by not being afraid of making mistakes and focussing on improving, they grew and flourished.